I am homesick now

Trip to china is not something new to me, it is going back home.  Somehow, this one is bit differene, maybe is city of shanghai? or i changed a lot since last time, i couldnt tell.  I felt like i learned something.  I have sudden need of learning, or working.  I want to wake up 8 in the morning and start my day fresh. And most importantly, i really thanks what my parents been put up with me all these years.  I dont know is a sign of life or strike of something, I felt i missed most important part of my life, the part made who i am and been there with me up and down.   
maybe all of these are just talks and nothing happen, but at least it is a start

dont know why, recently, things just not going well with me.  seems like i am losing every battle now.  and the worst part, i just cant get my mind of them.  that just make everything turns to a nightmare. i hate this.

soon, i will get to start my company.  i get investors and such. things are going fast, i just hope i do my best.  i wont hate myself when i am fall.  I only hate myself let a chance go by.  I will do this,nothing else besides this. I am born for this moment, if I fall I willl die for this moment.

today is my birthday, just like any other day, nothing happening, but it is all good.  it lose the meaning of it anyway.  spend it by yourself is a pleasure, a pleasure that you just dont want to share, like woman or car or whatever that are important to you.  hahaha, life is allgood

another friday at home, kind boring, but after dinner,, it was raining.  nice,, it havent rain a while now. cool down the city, clean the air, and make me wonder.  how nice.  i drove up to the coffee house i always hang at.  friday night sit at a windows site of my favorite cafe and raining outside while listening jazz.  i am enjoy my life. for that moment,, nothing could worry me.  those problems just simply went away.  they will back, but when they are back, i will be ready.

well, second day back from europe.  almost get everything settle down now. i guess it is the time for me write something about europe.   let just say, i love it.   i want to move there. it gives me that feeling when i first get there.  so much like china,  or maybe america is just so much different from rest of the world.  but anyway, i just love europe.  Rome, Lyon, Paris, Milan are absoutly amazing.  kind late to talk about today, and i am kind lazy too. so later i will up some pics and stuff.